Parenting Blog for Malaysia Parents

Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve?

A psychologist says he has discovered the answer.

Subject: The Luck Factor!

By Professor Richard Wise man, University of Hertfordshire

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck. I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune.

I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me. Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and, over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.

The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune.

Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities.

I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: “Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $250.” This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high.

It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it. Unlucky people are generally tenser than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else.

They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for.

My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.

These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, and expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck.

One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened.

The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier. The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.

Finally, I had found the elusive “luck factor”.

Here are Professor Wise man’s Four Top Tips for becoming Lucky:

- Listen to your gut instinct -they are normally right.

- Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine.

- Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well.

- Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This was a letter written by a desperate housewife titled System Upgrade from a Boyfriend to a Husband qualification. Here it is ..

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

It is so funny. Please Read fully.

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don’t even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top !!!!

“My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body is. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct.

Do you known what was the Answer ? if you want to know go on reading ……..

When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, “My ears, Mommy.”

She said, “No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it. And I will ask you again soon.”

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.

So this time I told her, “Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”

She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.”

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No.

But you are getting smarter every year, my child.”

Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry.

My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather.

She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?” I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me.

She saw the confusion on my face and told me, “This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why.

But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.”

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.”

I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head?”

She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.”

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one.

It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.

The origination of this letter is unknown, but it brings a blessing to everyone who reads it. Good friends are like stars…You don’t always see them, but you always know they are there.

Food For thought Friendship Ball ….

Beautifully stated….

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and ’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend.

You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

So send this Friendship Ball message to all of your friends or tell your friends to subscribe to this RSS Feed.

‘Don’t be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.’

~anonymous~

Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caught so often?

When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Jack pulled over, but only partially. Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard. Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror. The cop was stepping out of his car, the big pad in hand Bob? Bob from Church? Jack sunk farther into his trench coat. This was worse than the coming ticket.

A cop catching a guy from his own church. A guy who happened to be a little eager to get home after a long day at the office. A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow. Jumping out of the car, he approached the man he saw every Sunday, a man he’d never seen in uniform.

“Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this.

“Hello, Jack.” No smile.

“Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my wife and kids.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Bob seemed uncertain. Good.

“I’ve seen some long days at the office lately. I’m afraid I bent the rules a bit -just this once.” Jack toed at a pebble on the pavement. “Diane said something about roast beef and potatoes tonight. Know what I mean?”

“I know what you mean. I also know that you have a reputation in our precinct .”

Ouch. This was not going in the right direction. Time to change tactics. “What’d you clock me at?”

“Seventy. Would you sit back in your car please?”

“Now wait a minute here, Bob. I checked as soon as saw you. I was barely nudging 65.” The lie seemed to come easier with every ticket.

“Please, Jack, in the car.”

Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard. He was in no rush to open the window. The minutes ticked by. Bob scribbled away on the pad.

Why hadn’t he asked for a driver’s license? Whatever the reason, it would be a month of Sundays before Jack ever sat near this cop again. A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There was Bob, a folded paper in hand. Jack rolled down the window a mere two inches, just enough room for Bob to pass him the slip.

“Thanks.” Jack could not quite keep the sneer out of his voice. Bob returned to his police car without a word. Jack watched his retreat in the mirror. Jack unfolded the sheet of paper. How much was this one going to cost? Wait a minute. What was this? Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.

Jack began to read: “Dear Jack, Once upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it - a speeding driver. A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his daughters, all three of them. I only had one, and I’m going to have to wait until Heaven before I can ever hug her again. A thousand times I’ve tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me. And be careful, Jack, my son is all I have left. “Bob”

Jack turned around in time to see Bob’s car pull away and head down the road. Jack watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived Life is precious. Handle with care.

This is an important message.

Drive safely and carefully. Remember, cars are not the only things recalled by their maker. Share this story.

Pass this on, you may save a life. Maybe not, but we’ll never know if we don’t try. May today there be peace within you. “I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Women, please be aware of High Voltage Weapon.

I just thought to let know what my doctor told me recently. I don’t think she was lying and neither am I, so please tell your friends about this incident. Her clinic is in SS2 and you know how congested that place is.

One morning a few months ago in broad daylight, a girl was getting into her car when a few men approached her with what looked like a torchlight. Quite harmless looking. They pressed the “torchlight” into her back and immediately she went limp and very pale. So she wouldn’t be able to fight back, they slashed her thigh with a “parang” and sped away in her car.

There were many people around and they quickly took her to the nearest clinic which was my doctor’s clinic. There were two doctors at that time and they managed to stitch up her wound but the girl remained pulse-less and still pale as paper. No pulse, no BP (blood pressure). Just like dead.

My doctors were confused as to how one wound on the thigh made the girl almost like dead? They managed to revive her and save her life.

After some checking around, the doctors found out what actually happened was that the girl was made unconscious not by a torchlight but actually a high voltage weapon. I forgot how many watts she mentioned. 1000? Anyway, it was high enough to kill a person by electrocution.

It seems this weapon is from China. It’s not rampant yet in Malaysia , but with this thing, a person can rob, rape, kill, kidnap, and practically do anything to you. My doctor said that if the girl weren’t taken to the clinic immediately she would have died because there was no pulse on her.

So please just beware of your surroundings, if anybody is lurking around with a “torchlight-thingy” and approaches you, just scream or run away. Better to be embarrassed than ZAPPED and fried, right? Take care.

Mid-life crisis Story

When I was married 30 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 30 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 60 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis…

This incident happened recently in North Texas .

A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. She died on Wednesday.

The autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass. Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis.

Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances. It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part of soda cans

Before drinking out of them. The cans are typically stocked in warehouses And transported straight to the shops without being cleaned.

A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets (i).. full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident.

Please share this message to all the people you care about.

“Be Kind to your Parents” short Story.

Daughter-In-Law: “When I cooked food which are blend, you will grumble that they are tasteless. Now that I have
cooked saltier, you complained that you can’t swallow this at all! What exactly do you want?”

When the son came back, the mother immediately ate the food without a word. She stared at him. The son took a taste on
his mother’s food and spitted out immediately. He ranted at his wife, “Didn’t I told you that my mother cannot take too salty food?!”

The wife shouted, “OK! She’s your mum! You cook for her in future!” After saying that, she stormed into their
room angrily. Feeling helpless, the son told the mother, “Mum, don’t eat this anymore. I will cook you a bowl of noodles.”

The mother said, “Son, you have something to tell me? Don’t keep everything to yourself.”

Son: “Mum, I am going to get promoted soon and my upcoming working schedule will be very, very tight…and as
for my wife… ummm… she said she will be going out to work….”

The mother understood what he meant and said in a begging manner, “Son, please don’t send me to the Old Folks’
Home..”

The son remained silent and tried to think of a good reason to persuade her mother.

Then he said, “There is nothing wrong with the Old Folks’ Home. Once my wife had went out to work, no one will serve you as well as the Home which provides you meals and care. It would definitely much better than being at home.”

The son went for a bath after that and went into the Study Room. He looked out from the windows and thought back and
hesitated a while….

His mother has been remaining as a widow since she was young with him, and brought him up painstakingly, solely.

She tried all means to earn as much as she could, in order to support him in studying overseas. Yet she expected nothing
nor used her past painful experience to threaten his son to be filial.

While now, his wife is threatening him with the stake of their marriage.

“Should I send my Mum to the Home?” He asked himself.

“The only person who will accompany you till the end of your life would be your wife..” said a friend before.

“Your mother is in old age now, and if she’s lucky, she might be able to live for a few more years longer. Why not be filial to her for this period of time? Reminded by some relatives.

He was stuck in a dilemma. He did not want to think anymore in order not to affect his decision.

The son found a Home with high standards, built on a beautiful and transquil mountain top. He told himself that he would feel much better when the more he spent.

When the son helped his mother into the lobby of the Home, the 42″ TV was turned on. The programme shown on screen was a comedy. But no one was laughing.

A few old folks, dressed similarly in clothing, were sitting there, in a daze. There was one who was sitting improperly on a sofa, there was one who was bending down to pick up a piece of biscuit from the floor, there was one who was talking to himself…

The son knew that his mother likes sunlight, so he chose a room with ample sun rays shining into the room. By viewing out from the room, was a big piece of greenery scene. Few nurses were wheeling some old folks out for some fresh air. It was so pathetic of silence in the background. The sun would still need to set down. Soon it was dusk.

The son told the mother,”Mum, I am leaving.” The mother waved to him to say goodbye, opening her toothless mouth..

He turned back to look at his mother. She was full of grey hair and wrinkled skin with deep set eyes…He found that she was really old.

He remembered when he was six, due to some circumstances, his mother cannot bring him along with her thus temporarily placed him at a relative’s home for few days. He recalled hugging his mother’s thigh and begged her not to leave him alone. In the end, his mother never leave him alone and decide to stay with him. He stopped thinking and left.

When he returned home, his wife and his mother-in-law were busy discarding things from his mother’s room, happily.

One of the discarded item was his tall trophy which he won as First Prize when he was young. He wrote an essay on “MY MOTHER”.

The second item discarded was a dictionary. That was the first gift from his mother, who scrimped and saved for a month
in order to buy for him.

He shouted, “Enough! Stop discarding anymore!”

His mother-in-law cried, “There was so much rubbish. If don’t discard, there would not be any place for my stuff..”

His wife continued, “Yeah! Need to dump away that old, stinky bed of your mum too. We will buy a new bed for my mum later,”

He saw some pictures from the stack..they were taken at a zoo and amusement park when his mother brought him there. “These are precious belongings of my Mum! You can’t discard them!”

“What sort of attitude is this? I demand you to apologize to my Mum NOW!” ranted the wife.

The husband said,” When I got married with you, that showed that I will love your Mum too. But why can’t you do the same too?”

He went back to the Home and saw his mother weeping in between her frail legs. She was missing the moments when her
son would apply ointment for her every night…The son kneel before her and said, “Mum, here I come. I brought the ointment too.”

The mother said,” I will apply it myself, Son! You still need to work tomorrow. Go home, Son!”

Son said, “Mum, please forgive me! Let’s go home!”

Hope this is an inspirational and touching story to you.

Without our parents, we won’t be here.

For Daughters & Sons: Honour your father & mother. Be filial to them as it is only right.

For Daughter-In-Laws & Sons-In-Laws: Love your in laws as your parents, bacuase without them, you will not find your partner…

They are parents too. They have raised, cared for and loved the man or woman you love today. Be kind to them and your parents.